Ok guys, I don’t know about you lot but I fell off the wagon about a year ago, rolled under the wheels got knocked out and woke up a year later with 10 pizzas and a kebab as a pillow, weighing in just as much as when I’d started.
It’s no lie or secret, this last year or so has completely kicked my ass. Illness, injury and a ridiculous range of issues that come with a bunch of excuses like that including depression and grief for relationships lost along the way have not made me a happy bunny. I’m overworked, underpaid and fucking tired and do you know what…. everything hurts AGAIN!
I also know that if I went to the doctors now and said hey doc everything hurts their standard response would be of course it does have you seen the size of you?
Ok they might be more compassionate about it but you get where I’m coming from. My bones ache again, i make noises when I’m putting my socks on for fucks sake, when I let the plug out the bath and I think all the waters gone I stand up and there was another wall of fucking water behind me all along as my fat ass acts like a dam. I could flood small villages with this bad boy!
I know I’m back to square one and I could kick myself for letting it get to this but that’s half the problem, if I even had an tiny bit of the flexibility and energy it would take to kick myself then I wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.
The trouble is having lost a large amount of weight and knowing how much effort and energy goes into it I think it’s harder to make a start. I know the road that lies in front of me and it’s hard, it’s not easy, and it feels like a giant mountain to climb. Like a massive pill and I can’t bare to even try to swallow it. It’s too huge.
So I’m breaking it down. A new challenge every ten days, a little bit more a bit at a time, start off slow, don’t try and run before I can walk. Even though I know I am a person who can run 10k I now need to understand that I can only run 10k by learning to walk 10k first. I didn’t get where I was in one night, I built it up slowly and steadily. I built up a routine, new ha it’s, a new way of life. And that’s what I’m going to do now.
So this is my plan.
For the next ten days I’m going to start to change.
1. Eat less shit – I don’t need slimming world or some other endorsed dietary plan to stick to, I know what I should and shouldn’t eat and I know about portion sizes and I know a whole fucking trifle isn’t a healthy portion size. So no more excuses. I’m cooking from scratch, planning what I eat and choosing healthy options.
2. Move more – when I got ill last year I stopped moving, it literally stopped me in my tracks and I couldn’t even bend at the middle, then I’ve spent the rest of the year recovering in bed or laid out on the sofa, my steps dropped from an average of 20,000 steps per day to 500 at most….. I’m now back up to over 8000, so my promise for the next 10 days is to make that 10,000 and add in at least 10 mins of some sort of constant exercise. I’m going to try yoga to get me bending and less creaky, and hopefully take away the noises when putting on the socks. I’m going to try at least a brisk walk a couple of times and if I don’t fancy leaving the house then maybe I’ll dust off my just dance game on the wii. That helped me out no end last time around.
3. Scribble shit down! Now this one I find most important of all. I have a little notebook that a beautiful friend of mine gave to me. And I’m actually going to use it. I’m going to write out what food I eat, every single bit even if it is shit. Every morsel that goes in my mouth because the brain is an amazing thing and helps you to forget the things you feel guilty about or know you shouldn’t have. I’m going to write down when I move and how I feel each day. Writing it down helps me so much to identify how much I eat, what I eat, when I eat and how much I’m moving. If I don’t write it down then I end up saying oh I’ll do it tomorrow but guess fucking what…. tomorrow is a fucking lie…. it never happens, weeks go by and I’ve never dusted my bike off, months pass and I’m still not in my swim suit. So I’m writing it down, then I can hold myself accountable and see what excuses I’m making up this time around.
Now I’m doing this for me. Nobody else. I’m not writing it down to show to a consultant or trainer, I’m not doing it so someone can whip me into shape and make me feel guilty, I don’t want to feel guilty. I remember at slimming world some people used to write out a whole weeks food diary half an hour before turning up to class just so they had something to show and I never understood why.
So if you feel you want to join me in my 10 day challenge then grab yourself a little notebook, just a small one so it’s not too overwhelming and you feel like you are going to be filling it in for years to come, something that you can carry in your bag or pocket or superhero cape wherever you go.
In your first page write a couple of reasons why you want to do this (wall of water in the bath? Being able to pick up the small people without doing yourself an injury? So that putting a pair of pants on doesn’t become a two person job?)
Write yourself a little list of a few things you want to change in your life over the next ten days (walk more, yoga stretches every morning and bedtime, eat more fruit and veg, eat less crap)
And then do it. I’m also going to take a few measurements and photos just for me. These will be something I can look back on much later down the line to see how far I’ve come when I feel like I still look like a giant potato I can convince myself that slowly but surely is working and I’m only a slightly different shaped potato this time, but at least things will be changing.
I’m also planning another Jog on Fatty Beginners Bootcamp for the new year, January 12th and 13th in Manchester with the lovely Steve from Motivate Bootcamp, so if anyone wants to join me on that, that is going to be my thing to aim for, for now at least.
If you want to come and play then it’s £139 per person in a twin or triple room (you can bring a friend or share with a Jog On Buddy we can pair you up if you like) or £159 for a private room. You need to pay a £75 deposit to secure your place and balance is due before Dec 1st
Send your deposit to email@example.com and write Jog on fatty Bootcamp January in Manchester on the notes section and make sure to tell us if you want a private or shared room and if you have someone in mind to share with.
Hopefully I’ll see you all there
PS….. for anyone wondering….. it’s taken me all year but I’m actually starting to feel like my old self again!